Empathetic Understanding
Empathetic understanding is accepting what the victim has confided in you in a non-judgmental and supportive way. You may provide the victim with a sense of hope if you:

1. Believe the account of the victim.
2. Maintain an approach and attitude that does not threaten, blame, or make judgments about the victim, the batterer, or the choices that have been made.
3. Do not react in a shocked or horrified way to disclosures of abuse - respond with kind acceptance.
4. Express regret that the victim has been mistreated and invite them to continue talking about it, if desired.
5. Convey that he/she is an important person and do not deserve to be abused.
6. Explain that abuse can happen to anyone and that the victim is not to blame.
7. Never blame the victim.
8. Do not pressure the victim to leave the batterer - they know the dynamics of the situation better than you and must make the decision themselves.
9. Never tell the victim what they should, in your opinion, do.
      
10. Never insist on your own timetable for changes on the part of the victim.
11. Never confront a suspected abuser.
12. Let it be known that you can be counted on to be supportive.

It is important to reward their trust in you with a caring response. Realize that you may be the first person they have ever told about the abuse and that it was a difficult decision to do so.