Not all victims will be ready to disclose that they are being abused. Victims sometimes feel ashamed or to blame for the abuse or a strong need to avoid social embarrassment. Others may believe they will be in even greater danger if they tell anyone what is happening. For these and many other reasons, a victim may deny that they are being abused. Do not consider this a failure on your part. Even if the victim is not ready to talk at this time, you have planted a seed of sorts, and when or if they become ready, they now know that you are willing to help. Be sure to give those who deny abuse the number to the domestic abuse hotline “just in case they or a friend are abused in the future.” In this way, you can provide information in spite of their denial of abuse.

You may reassure the victim and those who deny abuse by telling them:

• It is not your fault. No one should have to live with abuse and victims of abuse are never to blame.
• Many people have problems in their relationships. You are not alone.
• There is help available.
• If you or anyone you know is ever a victim of domestic violence, there are people who can help.
• Without help, this problem will not go away and may even worsen.