Community Mental Health Center Staff

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Age Group	Ways of Being Drawn In	Effects of Abuse	Example
*0-1 year*	Seeing it	Physical injuries	Your mother is rocking you in the middle of the night to try to get you back to sleep. Your father yells at her to come back to bed. She refuses. He grabs you out of her arms, throws you into your bed and slaps and kicks your mother as she goes back to you.
	Hearing it	Death
	Being awakened from sleep by it	Fright
	Being ripped out of mother’s arms by the batterer	Being traumatized
	Having toys broken	Sleep disturbances
	Being born prematurely	Eating disturbances
	Being hit while in mother’s womb	Being colicky or sick
	Being thrown	Being nervous, jumpy, crying a lot
	Experiencing fetal fractures	Insecurity from being cared for by a traumatized mother Not being responsive/cuddly Failure to thrive





*2-4 years*	Seeing it	Acting out violently	Amy is four and is staying at Refuge House. She draws a picture of her mother and father. The children’s counselor asks her to describe the picture. She says her father is yelling at her mother. The counselor asks why and Amy says because Amy is bad and that if she would be good he wouldn’t be mad at her mother.
	Hearing it	Withdrawal
	Trying to stop altercation	Problems relating to other children
	Becoming abused themselves	Delayed toileting
	Being used as a physical weapon against the victim	Eating problems
	Being interrogated by the batterer about the victim’s activities	Being nervous, jumpy
	Being held hostage by the batterer	Sleep problems Being nervous, jumpy Insecurity Fear Depression



*5-12 years*	Seeing and hearing it	Fear	You are coming home in a car from a church supper with your mother and father. They start arguing. Your father accuses your mother of flirting with another man at the church. Your mother denied it. Your father starts speeding. You mother tells him to slow down. He slaps your mother, swerves off the road and pushes her out of the car and then drives off.
	Picking one parent to defend	Insecurity, low self-esteem
	Physically intervening	Withdrawal
	Calling the police	Depression
	Running to a neighbor for help	Running away
	Being used as a spy by the batterer	Early interest in alcohol or drugs
	Being forced to participate in the attack against the victim	School problems
	Being physically and sexually abused as a way to control the mother	Becoming an overachiever
	Being restricted from contact with others	Bed-wetting Premature sexual activity Becoming caretaker of adults Becoming violent Developing problems to divert parents from fighting Being embarrassed by his/her family


*Teen years*	Killing or trying to kill batterer	School problems	Teen boy: Your stepfather beats your mother all the time. No one ever talks about the abuse. You tried to intevene once but he hit you, now you just go to your room and watch TV.
	Trying to stop abuse	Social problems
	Hitting parents or siblings	Shame and embarrassment about his/her family
	Becoming physically abused	Early sexual activity
	Being used as a spy	Tendency to get serious in relationships too early in order to escape home
	Being used as confidant	Truancy
	Being coerced by batterer to be abusive to mother
	Being coerced by batterer to be abusive to mother
*Specific Effects on Teen Girls*	Learning that male violence is normal	Becoming a super-achiever in school
	Learning that women don’t get respect	Depression
	Possibly accepting violence in their own relationships	Suicide
	Embarrassed about being female	Alcohol and / or drug abuse
	Becoming pregnant	Confusion about gender roles Becoming violent Eating disorders
	Becoming pregnant
*Specific Effects on Teen Boys*	Learning that males are violent	Becoming super-achiever at school
	Learning to be disrespectful of women	Depression
	Using violence in his own relationships	Suicide
	Confusion or insecurity about being a man	Alcohol and / or drug abuse
	Attacking mother, father, or siblings	Confusion about gender roles Becoming violent