Many older women are part of a generation that places marriage and family above all other considerations.

Many abusive men of past generations are especially uncomfortable with the roles taken by women in modern times. In response to this fear, they will attempt to keep women ‘down’ or ‘in their place’ as they see it.

May have been raised to believe her most important roles in life are as wife and mother.

Older women have been socialized to minimize their own identity, needs, and desires, in order to meet their family’s needs.

To some of the elder generation, asking for help is a sign of weakness or failure.

Abused men are often ashamed to admit that they are being terrorized by a woman.

Previous generations strongly believe that social worth, economic stability, and political stature are all conditional on a woman being attached to a male.

The value that our society places on youth and beauty can lower the self-esteem of an older woman, contributing to her feelings of helplessness.

Elders may feel guilty for turning a family member over to police.

In a small town where everyone knows each other or is related, citizens and friends tend to ‘take sides’, making it difficult for the victim to live in a town where some of the people have ostracized her.

Elder victims are less likely to seek help from outsiders, perhaps because their generation believed it inappropriate to air their “dirty laundry.”

Divorce is often not viewed as a viable option by the elderly.

The victim who has endured decades of abuse typically blames herself and devalues her own ability to change her life.

Many women stay in the relationship for the sake of the “children.”

The elderly may fear change as much as they fear abuse.

Low self-esteem, accumulated injuries, or the aging process may result in health problems that make elders physically or psychologically incapable of independent living.

Denial - after so many years, the victim may have become accustomed to living in a climate of abuse and not believe she is being abused.

Victim may believe this relationship is normal.

Loss of the abuser’s income may mean living in poverty for the elder.

Older people, especially women, have fewer employment opportunities, making self-sufficiency more difficult.

Social Security benefits may decrease if victim gets divorced.

Fear of losing home and property if they seek a divorce.

Health insurance may be under spouse’s policy and/or due to a pre-existing condition, she would be ineligible for new coverage on her own.

Women who have never worked outside the home may have no job skills and no Social Security of their own.

May have a job, but nearing retirement age with little or no retirement benefits.

A lifetime of shared financial assets yet no access to them.

Affordable housing in the area where family and friends are located may be limited or non-existent.

If an elderly person cannot live independently and cannot afford assistance, they may be forced into a nursing home.

Abused elders may fear that reporting their abuser will result in the loss of the home and their transfer to a nursing home.

Abused elders may feel a sense of duty to care for an ill spouse, even if they are abusive.

The elder victim may themselves be dependent upon the abuser for care.

Elder may fear being judged incompetent if they report abuse.

Many elders do not drive and cannot go long distances to leave the abuser or to find a job.

Fear of being placed in a nursing home.

Adult children may discourage the victim from leaving the abuser.

The victim’s children may side with the abuser and pressure him/her to remain in the marriage.

When adult children abuse parents, the parent may feel guilty for their failure to raise their children properly, and therefore, neglect to report the abuse.

Unable to imagine life outside their family unit, victims may act to protect their abusers in order to maintain the family.

Abusers may turn the children against the victim or each other by, for example, only naming one child in the will.

Even after many decades of abuse, a victim may have hope that change is near.

As the abusive spouse ages, they may be less able to physically abuse the victim, giving the victim hope for the future.

Living with psychological or verbal abuse may seem a better choice than the uncertainty of leaving the relationship.

Victims may distrust the police or fear police brutality or indifference.

May have difficulty overcoming language barriers.

The abuser may be the one who speaks the local language, making the victim afraid to strike out on his or her own.

Immigrant women may be dependent on their marital status for citizenship or immigration status.

Older women with disabilities may find shelters inaccessible.

Ageist attitudes in the workforce may prevent victims from finding jobs.

Mental impairment of the victim may prevent them from reporting abuse or being believed if they do.