Families
Sometimes domestic violence is learned through experiences within the family unit:

• Children may witness violence between their parents and assume that it is an acceptable way to resolve differences.
• If individuals are abused themselves they may learn that violence is one way to win obedience from another person.
• Individuals who are abused by siblings or extended family members may also come to believe that because it worked against them, violence will also work for them if used against others.

External Victimization
People who have suffered violence at the hands of a stranger or acquaintance may come to believe that violence is a viable way of exerting control over others. Feeling victimized, through abuse or other trauma, they may eventually use domestic violence to victimize others.

Media
Through various forms of media, such as television, movies, magazines, or video games, perpetrators may come to believe that domestic violence is a useful method of controlling or defeating others.

• Some magazines portray women as subservient to men and their needs or wishes, leading the perpetrator to believe that this is appropriate.
• Characters in many video games must violently attack and defeat others in order to escape or win the game.
• Many movies and television programs contain heroes who use violence to “save the day” or to defeat their enemies.

It is important to note that may people are exposed to violence yet never act out in a violent manner. Children and others who may be negatively influenced must be given direction and provided with perspective in order to understand that violence as portrayed in various forms of media is often not realistic, nor does it allow one to accomplish one’s goals in a positive, long-lasting way. As it is impossible as well as undesirable to censor all forms of media, it is important that children and others who may be negatively influenced be provided with this perspective and an opportunity to understand the negative impact of violent behaviors.

Societal Acceptance

• Domestic violence is condoned as consumers purchase, watch, and play with violent products. Children use toys such as military dolls, fake guns, and futuristic space fighters in games of violence and destruction.
• Power and control have often been romanticized throughout history.
• Children are often taught that being the most powerful and being the one in control are the most admirable traits:
          - Being the captain of the football team or the “king of the hill” is considered
            commendable, especially because they denote strength and power, as opposed
            to being the captain of the debate team or the leader of the charity drive which
            do not.
• Anger, violence, power, and control are romanticized in movies or books.