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Although we recommend that you never confront a suspected abuser, the following is a list of things to listen and watch for when observing a potential abuser:

Behavioral Indicators

Abuser is…
      • Verbally aggressive towards victim
      • Displaying anger, impatience, or controlling behaviors
      • Refusing to let you see or talk to the victim
      • Refusing to leave you alone with the victim
      • Teasing the victim
      • Abusing alcohol or drugs
      • Defensive
      • Minimizing the severity of injuries
      • Interrupting the victim while speaking
      • Ignoring statements made by the victim
Physical Indicators Abuser is…
      • Handling the victim roughly
      • Standing threateningly over the victim
      • Always between you and the victim
Psychological Indicators Abuser is…
      • Angry or indifferent to victim
      • Verbally abusive to you
      • Considering the victim an unwanted burden
Social Indicators Abuser is…
      • Unwilling to allow victim to socialize with others
      • Claiming victim is clumsy, stupid, difficult, crazy, etc.
      • Talking about victim as if she weren’t there
                                                                                                                                   

Please see the Quick References Tip Sheet for a portable summary.